day 1 of trying to come up with a comedy business plan

I don't want to give Microsoft any more of my word processing business so I'm writing my business plan in my blog.  Try Ctrl+Alt+Deleting that, Clippy!

Okay, uh so I need a mission/vision statement for comedy business.

Mission Statement: My comedy is ______________

I like to talk about my life.  Weird shit that I've seen or done.  Travel stories.  Complain about work and how corporate America is trying to fuck me over.  Rich Old Men.  Oh my god did I just write the spiritual successor to Grumpy Old Men?

Insert catchy old people rich people song: I'm a rich ooooooolllllld man and I suuuuuckk all of your savings with sharksssss....BUT not related to the vacuum cleaner braaaaaand.

Wow that's a pretty crazy tv show.  Rich Old Man show about sharks sucking up money with shark vacuum cleaners.  And before your question this crazy ass story, realize that because they are rich, the rich old men can make shark attachments SO the sharks can hold the vacuum cleaners.  You better not be anywhere on the seas with those dubloons there honey.

okay back to this business statement I'm writing.

So I know I like being angry and complaining, so there's one emotion I need to put in the statement.  And I like talking about things I find peculiar or weird, so like two things that don't link up at all but do, kinda like Hoodoo Mountain and Hoodoo Volcano.

So with my comedy, I need to be able to express my frustrations, complain about things that mildly inconvenience me, discuss odd things that I have experienced or learned, and be able to use my imagination to create solutions to problems.

Essentially being a comedian is like solving word problems.  You are making a connection between multiple ideas or symbols that is unexpected or surprising.

Like in this example:

Raja: *middle aged man bent down beating a plastic mould into the ground, making loud noises*

Trinity: *curious about the loud sound* Hey Raja, what are you breaking over there, a hip?

This is funny because he's asking what's the source of the tension (loud sounds) are in the room which you think is the mould.  At the last minute, he quips a hip which switches your mind from a mould to a hip.  Raja is older, so this makes fun of his age because old people break their hips typically.

It's like solving a math problem but with a completely valid other answer.

Like find all the numbers that multiplied by themselves make 4.  The answer is 2 and -2.  The unexpected answer is -2, because everyone is like oh fuck yeah, you right, when multiply two negatives it makes a positive for some math reasons I chose to forgot.

So I gotta bring that -2 in my writing.

Setup the math problem/scenario : numbers that are multiplied by themselves make 4

Give predicted answer: 2

AND

Unpredicted answer: -2

State a problem/situation/tension.  Give predicted solution in unpredicted way.  Give unpredicted solution in a predicted way.

You control the how many details are presented to help the audience to understand the problem in their own mind before you give the solution.  You may need to show some work (setup the joke more to add more symbolism that might not be in present in their minds but in my mind) before you give the solution (punch line).

Okay, so comedy is a math problem!

My mission statement is:  My comedy delivers relatable critiques of life's tensions solved in an unpredictable way.  Go to courtneyup.com for your 3 day free trial today!

Consulting TV show but set like a private investigator show

take on a case and must solve it