thought list 6-27-22

1. As I get older, I realize that change doesn't get easier but it gets harder.
2. It's like running up a fucking hill when a car is chasing you
3. That happened to my dad once
4. He built a snow wall and some lady didn't see it
5. Then she was chasing them home
6. I have no idea how that man lived long enough in order for my existence to take place
7. The nice thing is that with what common sense he doesn't have
8. The intelligence meter is quite high for this dude
9. He's a freaking scientist
10. Can we say ultra nerd.
11. That bitch has the nerve to tell me that because I'm in IT that I'm a nerd
12. I wanna be like
13. Hey I have a hypothesis for you
14. If one spends more than 40 hours in a lab and makes jokes about proteins that aren't beef or chicken,
15. then one is a nerd
16. Do you like the bible verse format of this post
17. I like it so then when someone tells me that I'm a conspiracy theorist
18. They can tell me which line it is
19. But at least its not one of those manufactured lines
20. That was architected by some business
21. To profit of rich eurotrash and image driven people
22. That like to attend PRYSM nightclub on a Friday night
23. GEOMETRY
24. AVOGADRO's NUMBER
25. Shit that's misspelled chemistry
26. PYGOREAN THEORM
27. pythagorean <- that's pasted from google
28. who the hell can spell pythagorean from memory
29. that's worst that evilangelical 
30. i'm aborting this post

this box is made for scrungin, and that's just what's she'll do, she's going to scrunge in the box right in front of you

 

day 1 of trying to come up with a comedy business plan

I don't want to give Microsoft any more of my word processing business so I'm writing my business plan in my blog.  Try Ctrl+Alt+Deleting that, Clippy!

Okay, uh so I need a mission/vision statement for comedy business.

Mission Statement: My comedy is ______________

I like to talk about my life.  Weird shit that I've seen or done.  Travel stories.  Complain about work and how corporate America is trying to fuck me over.  Rich Old Men.  Oh my god did I just write the spiritual successor to Grumpy Old Men?

Insert catchy old people rich people song: I'm a rich ooooooolllllld man and I suuuuuckk all of your savings with sharksssss....BUT not related to the vacuum cleaner braaaaaand.

Wow that's a pretty crazy tv show.  Rich Old Man show about sharks sucking up money with shark vacuum cleaners.  And before your question this crazy ass story, realize that because they are rich, the rich old men can make shark attachments SO the sharks can hold the vacuum cleaners.  You better not be anywhere on the seas with those dubloons there honey.

okay back to this business statement I'm writing.

So I know I like being angry and complaining, so there's one emotion I need to put in the statement.  And I like talking about things I find peculiar or weird, so like two things that don't link up at all but do, kinda like Hoodoo Mountain and Hoodoo Volcano.

So with my comedy, I need to be able to express my frustrations, complain about things that mildly inconvenience me, discuss odd things that I have experienced or learned, and be able to use my imagination to create solutions to problems.

Essentially being a comedian is like solving word problems.  You are making a connection between multiple ideas or symbols that is unexpected or surprising.

Like in this example:

Raja: *middle aged man bent down beating a plastic mould into the ground, making loud noises*

Trinity: *curious about the loud sound* Hey Raja, what are you breaking over there, a hip?

This is funny because he's asking what's the source of the tension (loud sounds) are in the room which you think is the mould.  At the last minute, he quips a hip which switches your mind from a mould to a hip.  Raja is older, so this makes fun of his age because old people break their hips typically.

It's like solving a math problem but with a completely valid other answer.

Like find all the numbers that multiplied by themselves make 4.  The answer is 2 and -2.  The unexpected answer is -2, because everyone is like oh fuck yeah, you right, when multiply two negatives it makes a positive for some math reasons I chose to forgot.

So I gotta bring that -2 in my writing.

Setup the math problem/scenario : numbers that are multiplied by themselves make 4

Give predicted answer: 2

AND

Unpredicted answer: -2

State a problem/situation/tension.  Give predicted solution in unpredicted way.  Give unpredicted solution in a predicted way.

You control the how many details are presented to help the audience to understand the problem in their own mind before you give the solution.  You may need to show some work (setup the joke more to add more symbolism that might not be in present in their minds but in my mind) before you give the solution (punch line).

Okay, so comedy is a math problem!

My mission statement is:  My comedy delivers relatable critiques of life's tensions solved in an unpredictable way.  Go to courtneyup.com for your 3 day free trial today!

Consulting TV show but set like a private investigator show

take on a case and must solve it