Unprofessional books for professionals

Hi Employers!

Are you sick of employees not remembering shit about their industry and workplace?  Does Verne in HR not pull his weight, yet gains it instead?  Or is Annalise's banana bread the talk of the board room instead of your stupid quarterly report?

Never fear, Courtney Up is here with her new series of books: Unprofessional books for professionals.  

My books teach young and new professionals alike how the business world works in an easy to relate and memorable way.  Let's see some footage from the Microsoft Excel series:

"Conditional formatting can be used in your documents if your Solution Architect or Project Team can't be bothered to review documents.  By applying Conditional formatting, you can direct their attention to the important points so you don't have to put in full effort into the whole document.  Results may very. "

These books are offered in many different technological subjects such as: Database Design, System Architecture, and Making Corporations Dependent on Overpriced Technology That Will Probably Be Outdated in 5 Years.

Workplaces are not just about technology.  Think of Dina in cube 5.  She always watches shitty country music videos without her headphones.  And what's even worse is that she sings along, so offkey that your boss's nails on a chalkboard sound better.

That's why Courtney offers books in the unprofessional series for professionals in work relationships.

"*drinks a sip of a beer* If you ever want someone to leave you alone, just think of something you hate.  Like that kid that was always slightly better than you at school and your mom is like "wow, courtney why can't you be more like that kid" and i'm like "well mom maybe if you picked some slightly better genetics 15 years ago this wouldn't be a problem".  And then send that unbridled teenage angst towards the target you want to leave your presence and watch that person leave as fast as evelangeical at a drag show."

If you still don't believe me, listen to this testimonial from George Washington.

*imagine George Washington dressed in drag*

"The consulting company that just hired me told me I needed to get agile certified in six months!  Courtney's unprofessional book on agile helped me realize that agile is just like communism!  It works better theoretically but when practiced it's usually hot garbage because not everyone buys in.  And that one person causes the whole project to turn an entire clusterfuck all because they didn't want to enter in the why in a mother fucking user story."

My courses cut out all of the bullshit and give you TL;DR.  No one has time for all of the niceties.  I give you the information in a quick non-sugar coated manner so you can spend more time focusing on things that are actually useful in life: not spending your time working at a shitty corporation that is sucking your soul dry every single day.